yellow bridesmaid dresses

I've been looking at your pictures today and wondering what it would be like if you were still here. I got married about 5 weeks ago and 23 people didn't show up. You think that would break my heart but it didn't matter. I would've loved it if those people who told me just days before they'd come would've but I tell you what did. It was walking out past those empty seats and rows of people smiling and looking down the aisle and seeing my gorgeous bridesmaids standing there beside my groom. You know what I couldn't help but think? There is one very important person missing up there. You. I may be cold and distant most of the time but I am so sentimental and little details matter to me. I was all dressed up and I felt like the 5 year old version of myself playing bride. I remember dressing up with my youngest sister and I would have her standing up as a bridesmaid holding a barbie that represented you. In all my dreams the most important thing is that my sisters were all there standing next to me when I got married. I put off getting married for YEARS because somewhere in the back of my mind.. I just kept thinking what if she misses it. What if she's out there somewhere and I get married without her. Now here we are almost 6 years have gone by. I can't believe it. Where are you? I'm realizing now that you aren't coming home. And it is very possible that the answers we have spent years searching for we may never get but we won't ever stop looking. It doesn't seem fair. You were supposed to be here. The day I got married I saw a yellow swallowtail butterfly outside my house and I thought about you. They always make me think about you. In someway I think it was your way of telling me you were there watching over us. I hope that you are in a better place. I hope that you know how much we love you. How much we all miss you. I hope you can see how much your kids have grown. They look more and more like you. You know it's so strange but I have two other sisters that should've been there. Christina and Pamela are two pieces of my heart that are gone. Maybe that is why I can never feel whole. There is somebody out there that knows where you are and has all the answers to fill in the blanks. It's not fair. Whoever you are, When you took her.. you took all of us. You broke all of us. You stole our light and our hope. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but sadly there are so many people out there with missing loved ones. I hope you all will spread awareness and keep sharing fliers. It may not seem important but it is. Every share is a chance for hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of people to see their faces and read their stories. The more people fliers reach the greater chance someone will recognize them and come forward. Please send prayers for our family and all the others out there struggling with this. yellow bridesmaid dresses